Therapy

Now, these aren't directed to anyone in particular, just to those that ever go to order something from a deli/bakery thing. I'm sure that some of my friends in foodservice can sympathize.

POINT #1: Get yourself organized enough to think ahead.

Okay, so you want to take lunch to a meeting you're going to. Great. We love orders. I'm glad to make 'em. I'm even good at it. Just please... Call us at LEAST an hour beforehand if the order is more than just a couple of sandwiches? Because if you're going to order a bunch of cookies and scones with five sandwich box lunches, then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure we actually have what you want! We don't appreciate having to call you back again and again to see if you have no problem with our being out of scones or veggie sticks. This is especially true on the first day of our week after being closed Sunday and Monday. People tend to come in and clean us out of everything...

POINT #2: Look over the menu and see if there's anything you've missed.

When you're ordering a sandwich using one of the fill-in menus, please have mercy and take the time to make sure that you've filled everything in. This is especially problematic with the bread selection; it's hard to make a sandwich (which, remember, I kind of enjoy) when you don't have any idea as to what to put said sandwich on. Also, please make sure that you've checked whether it's for here or to go... It's a pain in the rumpus to have to run back and forth and ask these things, especially at the lunch rush hours. Oh, and before you order, please make sure it's what you actually want. Having to stop and start over just because you decided you DIDN'T want mayo or something just makes time go slower and the sandwich people want to shut our heads in the coldtop.

POINT #3: We are not, I repeat, NOT a fast food establishment.

So you're in a hurry. I understand that. Really, I do. I'm going to try to make you as happy as I can with our service, meaning I will try to get your order up as soon as I possibly can. But let's think about this: It's noon, and there is a very long line of people standing around and not looking at bread. The safest thing to assume is that these folks are waiting on sandwiches. When you see us scurrying around at the coldtop making sandwich after sandwich, pounding them out at a pretty good clip, and looking at a stack of yellow papers, it's also safe to assume that your order JUST MIGHT TAKE MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES. As I said, my co-workers and I are going to be moving our fastest, but it's not easy trying to coordinate many sandwiches on the board at once. Things happen, and we might have to take even longer (this is especially true when we've received a ginormous call-in or fax order). Trust me, this is hard, and all I ask is some patience.

POINT #4: We are CLOSED Sundays and Mondays!

I know you love us. Many people do. But the owners need a weekend, so they close down the shop on Sunday and Monday. This means we bake NOTHING on these days. (Go back and read that again, if you don't mind. I'll wait.) So everything we sell when we open Tuesday morning is going to be two, maybe three days old (which is why sell it at 40% off). One batch of bread is going to take FIVE HOURS from start to finish. We take pride in our work. We make everything from SCRATCH. Using the normal timetable, this means we don't even START getting the fresh bread out of the oven until 10, maybe 10:30 on Tuesday morning. Even then, we can't slice anything for you for at least another 25 minutes, because if we try then the loaf will collapse. Not pretty at all. If you want good-quality, fresh Tuesday bread, then you might consider coming in the early afternoon; we usually have everything out by then.

POINT #5: There is a good reason we print out that calendar every month.

You see those large pieces of paper sitting by the cash register? The one that lists whatever breads we're making on whatever day? As I said, we have that for you to take and study so that you can find whatever bread you would like. Mind you, we're a SMALL TEENY TINY ITSY BITSY little bakery, so we can't make everything all the time. It's just not physically possible. So if there are any specialty breads you want, please don't hesitate to call in, or ask any of us working there. We'll be happy to take down your name and number and call you when whatever bread is being baked. Heck, we can even set some aside just for you! It's not that hard! Just arrange a time you want it! But if it's not on the calendar, then it's once again safe to assume that we're not baking it. You can put in a request, if you like, for the bread to be baked next month. I'm not promising anything, but we actually DO listen to our customers.

POINT #6: There are customers in the world other than you.

I don't mind serving customers. Really, I don't. I even like it, when the customers are friendly and polite. There are some that I've come to consider almost as friends. I know them by name. But when you barge into my shop and demand that I stick to you like glue? Yeah, that makes me unproductive. I despise being unproductive; that's not what I get paid for. Contrary to your apparent belief, when I'm getting some cookies for you, then it IS indeed possible for me to answer another customer's question and still give you the same kind of service I was already giving you. I mean, hey, I'm probably going to like the questioning customer better because they actually check to see what we have before they order their sandwich (see Point 5). But BY NO MEANS do you have the right to chew out my other customers. I don't CARE how picky you are or how much of a hurry you are in. Stop it. Right now. Take your food and go, because I don't enjoy people chewing out my customers because you think they're cutting in on your service.


Rawr. I needed that. I feel MUCH better now. I guess my main point is that the people at your local bakery/sandwich place are people too. We have lives. We have other responsibilities. We get stressed out, sometimes almost to the breaking point. You'd be amazed how much a smile or a "thank you!" or even a "Wow, that was really good!" can reduce that stress. It's great when you know that your work is appreciated and that you might've made someone else's life a bit easier by doing it. It's a good place to be in. All that we ask in return is that you come back with your business and goodwill. Thanks.